After the Discard: The Other Woman

This post has really helped me as I can relate to every single word. Every woman (or man) dealing with a narcissistic ex should follow Kim Saeed. Recovering from abuse seems to be a daily trial for me, and as I lapsed today – I turned to her blog for support. Be reassured that it’s not you, and the new supply he cheated on you with – will not last.

Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

Snake Cake North Star Cakes

Being discarded by a Narcissist is one of the most painful experiences victims endure…well, after the heart-wrenching devalue phase.  It’s like icing on an insidious, poisonous cake for which only Narcissists hold the recipe.

The Discard

After being discarded, you believe it’s your fault.  You obsess over whether you could have done things differently.  You languish over your abuser, brooding over whether there’s a chance to win him back and prove your worth.

That’s precisely what he wants.

You see, while he was preening the new supply behind your back, he was busy telling you (and everyone within a 50-mile radius) everything that’s wrong with you and your place in the demise of the relationship.  He wants you to believe you are the one who drove him into the arms of another woman.  And that’s what victims believe.  Every time.

Narcissists need you to think the problems…

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2 thoughts on “After the Discard: The Other Woman

  1. Someone wise said to me when I was eaten up with images of my Ns new younger thinner taller beautiful partnerl. But she has to get into bed with him every night and you don’t have to. It was a turning point for me my anger turned to pity as I know exactly what her life will be like.


  2. BJarnes says:

    Exactly. I am still struggling with the perspective – and hopefully I’ll be where you are someday in the outlook. Whether male or female we deserve to be treated with respect. The trouble is that no one is 100% evil, and I keep remembering the times when he was gentle and nice, my best friend. It makes betrayal hurt all the more. I am reading “Why does he do that” right now, and it’s really helping. It’s a great book looking into abusive men; why they do what they do and their personalities. It is giving me closure I haven’t been able to get through him. Hope you’re doing well in your own recovery.


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